Chez StanMinn Communiqués: Power

Ezz Ezzezz EzzzEzeez...eeezzeezzzz ze

That's the best keyboard impression I can do of what it sounds like when the electricity goes out.
Which is exactly what happened to us over the weekend.
For 56 long hours.
You know it's coming, too, making that last pathetic surge of juice even more painful to hear, because in a matter of moments you're about to be screwed.
Since moving to The Sticks, we've lost power at least once a year, but the longest wait for restoration was only 3 hours, so I wasn't too concerned.

Happy Zabby

If there's one good thing about having our house smack up next to a major road was that I've always thought we were on some magic, main arterial requiring immediate attention before moving on to smaller, outlaying areas.
That's just speculation and if true, then I really feel sorry for those still waiting, because having no electricity sux.

The dry, fluffy snow started falling Thursday morning and kept steady throughout the day.
It's always so much prettier when The Redneck Shire's buried under a layer of pristine down as it covers up the neighbors' many shitholes.
(Really, it seems some of them stand on their front porch and just toss garbage into the yard from there.
Ever see the movie 'Winter's Bone'? Yeah, they could just have easily filmed that out here.)
Because Oregon has no decent system (or budget) to keep the roads clear, the areas affected by such weather close up shop and shutter in 'til the danger's passed.
And so it was north of us; at the mere sight of a few flakes, Portland sent everyone home and cancelled schools on Friday.
Eugene got it even worse, so there was pandemonium downtown; however, an unnamed private business currently overseen by a former Wisconsin Badger felt they could tough it out.
Problem is, see above.
NO plows!
And thankfully no salt trucks such as The Heartland employees (saving the undercarriage of all my vehicles from tragically rusting away.)
Yet, CAM was at it again the next morning, albeit on a delay.
You know we love our Prudence, but I'm sure glad we held onto Zippy Zelda the Impreza because along with her ingenious mechanics and his impressive driving skills, I knew he was safe on those miserable roads, particularly with the boneheads acting stupid.
WI must have either wizened up or bowed to pressure, because the crew was allowed to leave early.
Reports by now were coming in across the South Willamette Valley regarding conditions and forecasts, which remember, we take with a grain of salt. (Maybe not so bright.)
CAM's one stop was Jerry's for pellets on his slow way home.
(Irony. As will be the only mail we get over the weekend- a bill from our electric co-op.)

No quail covey this time and they didn't go for the suet- delivery system perhaps?

We'd hunkered down to wait out the record (for us) snowfall: by our wooden ruler, it'd accumulated to almost 13".
And it truly was a breathtaking sight; the new moon bounced its reflection all over the even, sparkly surface.
But sometime during the night, the light puffs gave way to freezing rain and it was then that we were well and truly fucked.
Sure enough, just after noon on Sat. was the ominous sound of our cozy warmth headed out the door.
Optimistic that this situation would be quickly resolved, I just closed off some of the smaller rooms to retain the heat and decided this would be an ideal time to catch up on the many periodicals piling up.

It was still fairly bright outside, so the natural light lit up the house.
As dusk approached, confidence that we'd soon be connected seemed further removed.
Having done this before, candles were amassed not so much to see by, but to take the edge off the fast-chilling room we'd retreated to.
Flashlights and the propane campstove also made their appearance and the trusty crank-up emergency radio was pulled out of its sleeve.

As the evening wore on, we played Connect Four and Story Cubes while listening to Dead Air with Downtown Deb.
We also alleviated some boredom by cleaning up the liquor cabinet.

(BTW- who gave us this Viking Blod and why did we wait so long to drink it? It was perfect for the occasion!)
Between the emergency radio/NOAA broadcast and local shows, we learned this was affecting just about everyone everywhere and therefore would probably not be rectified before the morning.
No worries- I was still in good humour.
Off to bed we went, believing that the machines would be blinking and chirping as we awoke.
Fools!
But lo and behold, the roads were clear and dry.
We took advantage and made our way into town.
This also helped me to keep from clock-watching and obsessing over *when* exactly the damn power would come back on.
Here I could check email, social network (!) and make some phone calls, including one to our power company for some sort of formal service request and update.
Surprised that someone answered and was in relative good spirits.
Not surprised she was unable to give me any answers whatsoever.

My goal after last month's crazy travels was to do a raw foods cleanse.
Bavaria's salty carbs and the cruise's decadent meals (both resplendent with copious amounts of alcohol) had left my insides feeling gummed up and polluted.
Perhaps the dead of winter wasn't an optimal time frame for such a diet, but my body was desperately crying out.
So topping the list was stocking up on fresh fruits and vegetables, despite none of them being all that locally sourced.
Ours was the healthiest cart leaving the building, to be sure.
Driving the usual route, it became obvious why there was no power in the county- downed trees and limbs and debris were everywhere.
Alongside the road logs had been chainsawed and bulldozed from where they'd initially fallen, blocking the lanes.
Still even more ice-laden and sopping branches draped and weighted down overhead lines.
At one stretch were the familiar cherry pickers, at least 5, working hard to get things up and running.
With Peace signs and thumbs up, we showed our encouragement and gratitude (overtime pay much deserved: they had their work cut out.)

It was with that shocking sight we realized this might last awhile longer.
Making the most of our time, we looked into replacing the POS generator that only served our needs once before going tits up.

That's a big $$ ticket item, and I wasn't altogether sold, so we ended up with both a battery powered lantern and Li'l Buddy- a propane fueled space heater.
I figured the fridge and freezer would hold out and coolers could keep our purchases well on the front porch.
I kept forgetting to look for a sled, but chances were the slopes would be too wet by now to support my weight, dammit.
Water, of course and a bathroom break to attend to personal needs and brush teeth.
Finally finishing up with a warm meal at our third restaurant choice, we cautiously made our way home in the thick fog and dropping temps.

Dog's in the car. We parked wherever the hell we wanted.

Then the house really transformed into indoor camping.
CAM brought in his bigfoot expedition gear, the portable toilet for 'heavy business', as well as 3 jugs of frozen water to thaw in the tub for toilet bowl flushing.

Re-purposed cat litter containers

Containers of snow were placed on the refrigerator shelves to maintain coolness, tho' not much in there would have spoiled.
Sleeping bags rated at minus+ degrees replaced the unwieldy and crushing piles of quilts and blankets used the previous evening.
Layers of silk undies, fleece, balaclavas, etc. became the fashion.

It's hanging by a robe belt

The new lantern made it easier to see to play Othello and Trivial Pursuit and there was just enough battery power left on the PC to watch a lame movie (Grown Ups 2- I don't recommend it even if you're in a Snowpocolypse.)

Chutney refs the game circa 1985

Again, we retired convinced that upon waking would be the normal sounds and lights waiting for us.
WRONG!
As CAM drove away for work, I assessed my environment.
Some light cleaning and upkeep and dishes camp-style way (I'd already plenty of experience there from last year's well cave-in catastrophe.)
and MELTDOWN!
At about the 48 hr. mark, after I'd been staring at my breath all morning, living like Laura Ingalls Wilder had lost its appeal.
Oh how I carried on, frightening the dog especially.
Every little thing wrong with the place was magnified.
Unfinished parts of the house that had nothing to do with the power being out whatsoever became a catch-all for my frustration.
Appliances needing replaced, needy animals, repairs needed...
Looking around through hot tears of disappointment and anger only served to exacerbate my darkening mood.
What was taking so long?
Why can't things just work out right, for once?
How long am I meant to live with no baseboards, let alone that hideous bathroom?
I was beside myself, well aware most of what I'd been keening over wasn't caused by a lack of electricity.

Burying the blues in a true fur pile

Our cell phones operate via a mini tower generously donated by our provider, but the caveat is that it only works through the Internet, which of course, does NOT work without electricity.
Therefore, I was incommunicado and completely at the mercy of others.
I let it become overwhelming and took to my bed, sobbing some more.
Again, thinking, "Hey, when I wake up, there will be power!"
AND THERE WAS!
For 20 minutes.
Long enough to get my hopes and spirits up; long enough to put the large pot of tortilla soup on an actual burner; long enough to get a decent fire going in the pellet stove, much to all the animals' delight.
Then that awful ezzzez Ezzzeezz eezzEzz sound again.
Cruel.
So it was I'd resigned to yet another night of roughing it and I was not at all pleased.
And lest you judge me, yes, I did and do realize how fortunate I am to even have a roof above my head, indoor plumbing, and the option of warmth and security,
but that doesn't stop me from being a big whiny baby, weak without creature comforts.
Eventually, after 56 hours and many starts and stops later, the electricity did return to stay; I type this from my toasty couch relieved it's over.*
Until the next time.
Physically and logistically we are prepared.
Mentally?
Me, not so much.

Before

After

*The Internet (and phones) took another 3 days. I'd finally had enough of being isolated and unable to communicate, so drove up the forest road to the clear cut and gave the Hillbilly Cable Company a call. Coincidence that within a matter of hours it was back online?