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| 9-2-07 (W/ The Reverend Chicken Boy) |
There were many reasons for both the delay and the decision to go ahead with an event.
Ideologically, we wanted to show solidarity with our LGBT brethren who were unable to take advantage of this basic civil and human right (long before Brangelina came out publicly with the same declaration.)
And ours was a solid partnership which we felt need not be sanctioned by The Man: lacking a piece of paper would not diminish our commitment to one another.
[Me=Feminist/Anarchist]
I'd already had a brief, post-college union and was in no particular hurry to 'rush' into another, and CAM was fine with our status quo.
On April Fool's Day 2003, we did pop into our local WaMu branch between work shifts to have the notary sign our 'gay wedding' papers with the City of Seattle thinking this would be a worthwhile endeavor to aid in potential issues that might crop up.And later that summer, encouraged by a friend, we did celebrate with a fun 'Domestic Partnership Agreement Re-enactment' [DPAR] Ceremony at our annual Oregon Country Fair week-end at Jessee Honeyman Groupsite F in Florence, OR with lots of guest participants, cake and carrying on.
That was all perfectly appropriate and splendid as far as we were concerned.
But ultimately, it came down to finances and the bigger picture of long-term circumstances which would present over our lifetime.
So we got off our high horse and defaulted to hypocrisy, though never abandoning our support and defense of marriage equality, and disdain for the system (which as a Wedding Officiant since 1998 I know, seems ridiculously ironic, at best.)
Unbeknownst to just about everyone at the wedding, we had set in motion plans to make the move down to Lane County from WA with an entrepreneurial plan.
Relying on a VA loan to purchase property would benefit us being a married couple, as friends of ours had discovered themselves the year before, necessitating their elopement prior to their earlier scheduled affair.
As vulgar as it sounds, another determining factor was what we referred to as 'Shaivo-ing'; many reading this remember the tragic story of Terri Shaivo's husband fighting her parents and misguided republicans to have her removed from life support after a 20 year coma, rightfully asserting as her guardian and legal partner that she'd never had wanted to be kept alive in such a compromised and artificial state.
Moving far too quickly into late middle age, we realized such medical situations could very well occur in the future and we wanted to ensure the other's ability to make decisions on our behalf.
So what to do?
Where to have it?
Who would come?
Vegas?
Gasworks Park with just a few close friends?
CAM expressed a desire for his family members to attend.
Which led me asking mine at an uncomfortable juncture during a reunion with my own if they'd be interested.
I'd snuck off and tied the knot with husband #1, which hadn't made them the least bit happy, so of course they'd like to be a part of it, especially as they preferred #2 and thought the world of both him and how we were together. (I'd been a difficult woman prior.)
But again, how? what? where? when?
I'd be a liar to say planning my ideal wedding hadn't been on my mind since Bride Barbie, but it sure morphed over the years.
We settled on what I call the 'Hippie Picnic' theme with a Handfasting Ceremony.
I'll spare you the details, but know the entire occasion was very casual, meaningful, colorful and festive.
Lucking out on the ideal venue (recently refurbished and re-opened Golden Gardens Bathhouse @ Shilshole Bay/Ballard), having a group of generous and tireless friends and family offering up all kinds of services and assistance (from make-up, flowers, set-up, catering, music, photography, post-party, etc. to cords presenting, ceremony cameos & officiating- a great story in itself) and happening on a humongous house in a central location to accommodate my large-ish family all traveling from across the country couldn't have been better.
We even had our pizza party rehearsal dinner there as well as celebrating birthdays.
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| OMG we loved Ashland. Cheers, mate! |
It was a great reunion.
It was a great party.
It was a great wedding.
It was great love.
And it's been eight years ago, now.
How time does fly.
Many important people in attendance that day no longer walk the Earth with us, and the rest keep getting on with life and its milestones.
But how I do like to wax nostalgic for that Labor Day Weekend in 2007.
Not 9 months later, we'd made the move and continued along our own life's path.
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| Southern Oregon had many hidden gems |
It's a glorious state.
1st> Belnap Hot Springs
2nd> Bend
3rd> Waldport
4th> Coos Bay/Area
5th> Hood River & Mt. Hood
6th> Ashland/Shakespeare Festival
7th> Coast Camping (w/ the dog)
But times and circumstances
have changed; our anniversary fell on a Wednesday this year, in the middle of a busy work week, so we cashed in the gift certificate to a local restaurant I was awarded by Hospice for my volunteerism. Leaving the following week-end, our 'anniversary weekend' wanting. So...
8th> The Oregon State Fair!
Crazy! We went there to Salem and were totally wowed and entertained and gut-punched by way too much deep fried crap.
At first I was let down we wouldn't be doing it up in extravagance this time around, but in hindsight, this was a super way to celebrate marital bliss 8 years strong.
I couldn't have asked for anything more than to be with my spouse, feeling secure in our continued wedded bond and joie de vivre. <3
Congratulations on your 8th anniversary. You're right...time flies. We've been lucky together for 45 years. (My wife has a high tolerance for imperfection) :)
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